We are so honored to be on the cover of a wonderful new publication - Women Owned Business Club Magazine. This great group helps women who own their own businesses network and learn from their peers. We will be contributing to the upcoming issues - you can read this month's article about Life Celebrating Style here.

Like so many people around the world, today's Super Bowl wasn't to me about who was playing or who won the game, it was about the ads, and knowing which would be the topics of conversation when we go back to work on Monday.

This Lifestylist® has been predicting for months that farmers are going to be the next cycle of celebrities, and after watching the Dodge Ram commercial during the Super Bowl, I think my prediction is going to come true.

It was beautifully shot, had a wonderful message and encouraged you to celebrate and support the Future Farmers of America organization - a perfect trifecta.

Will this message and commitment by Dodge to make this The Year of the Farmer influence my purchasing? It actually might. I support companies that I trust and believe in, and that are committed to causes that are important to me. What I do know is that I'll definitely be at least looking at their products and I wouldn't have in the past.

Farmers are so important to this country, and they have been unsung heroes for a long time. Visit your local farmers market, and buy local whenever you get a chance. Let's make this the year that farmers get the recognition and thanks they deserve.

Passion. Such a small word for such an important emotion. When work is more than a job or a way of making money it shows in lots of different ways. People look forward to going to work, they take pride in their product and being around them is a delight.

I've been going to The Original Pancake House for years - especially the ones in the Dallas area. My kids grew up eating there, I've had a bunch of business brainstorming meetings there, and it's always my first choice when I want a sugar rush. I've heard great things about the newest location so I decided to check it out.

The building used to be a Steak and Ale restaurant, and I can't believe how different it looked! Great colors and really fun touches like the coffee cup on the roof pointing you to the entrance and spatulas and waffle irons were transformed into door pulls. It turns out that Mark Davis Bailey - President and CEO was trained as an architect which explained all of the great attention to detail that you could see throughout. His passion for his craft and his team makes this a very special place to dine.

Mark happened to be there when I visited, and it was a delight to meet and and watch him interact with the staff and guests. You could tell he was truly interested in both, and staff greeted him with big hugs and smiles. He didn't originally plan on being a restauranteur, but after spending years as a customer and gaining the trust and respect of the owners he decided that he wanted to be a part of the team.

This location has an amazing coffee lounge, and features baristas that treat their profession as a craft - not just a job. The coffee was not only some of the best I've ever had, it was beautifully presented.

And the food! Everything you could want for breakfast and more - Eggs Benedict, crepes, grits, omelettes, and of course pancakes. Two of their signatures are the apple pancake and Dutch Baby - both baked to perfection and unforgettable.

The hardest thing about eating here is deciding what you want, which is a great excuse to go back often. The Addison location is open 24 hours on Friday and Saturday so it's a great choice after the theater.

Being married to a builder had lots of advantages -the biggest one being that you never had to deal with finding a contractor when you changed your mind... again... about what cabinets you wanted or a walk-in shower or tub in the master suite. Now that I'm on my own that responsibility falls on my shoulders, and when you live and work in a 1942 printing factory there's always something that needs done.

People don't realize that building a relationship with a really good contractor and having them take on your job can be harder than getting your child into the best schools. I was fortunate enough to have an amazing electrician agree to take on rewiring my entire home, and part of the deal was that I'd cook him a hot lunch every day and sit down and eat with him. Not only did I get the peace of mind of knowing that I'd never have to worry about his work, I also made a great friend and learned a lot.

The housing slump we've been experiencing recently made a lot of contractors reconsider working for themselves, so when I decided to add a test kitchen to The Home Idea Factory finding the right contractor was a lot harder than I expected. It wasn't just about how much it would cost - even more important was the thought of having someone in my home with my animals and my "stuff" that I could trust. I knew I only wanted Thermador appliances in my new kitchen, and I needed someone who would install them properly and could understand my vision for the project.

Referrals are the best place to start when looking for a contractor. Not only do they help you know that the contractor is trustworthy, it also gives you a chance to see their work and hear how they performed on someone else's remodel. If you see a room or project that you love, ask who was responsible for it. Nick Troilo, owner and curator of The Workroom in Dallas is someone who is known for designing beautiful spaces with character, and when he opened up his new studio in Trinity Groves it was everything I expected and more. Everyone who walks through the door is charmed by Nick's paintings, collections, and curiosities, and the architecture in the store is part of that charm. I asked Nick who he worked with to make this amazing space possible, and he told me about Mike Clark.

You have to love a man who never complains and just makes things happen. Getting 900+ lbs of refrigeration up two flights of stairs is not an easy task, but Mike and his team never complained, they just did it. And then there are the little things like keeping the job site (AKA my home) spotless and carrying out all of the trash made such a huge difference in the experience - I felt like we were working together to make my dreams come true.

Now my possibilities are endless because I know I've found someone who shares my vision. I plan on keeping Mike really busy, but if you need a great contractor in the Dallas area, this is your guy.

Today I was busy having a wonderful time getting ready for the holidays - trimming the tree, getting cards out, and in between checking my Facebook account. I've know for awhile that a wonderful friend that I have made through the USA Film Festival has been dealing for years with her brother's mental illness, and she even shared some videos that he sent her that are chilling. Her brother is a diagnosed schizophrenic, but refuses to take his medication. Sandra is a film maker and teaches film at Yale, and she had decided to do a documentary on all of the insanity that has gone on with her brother.

Then a few weeks ago her mother died suddenly, and not only was she dealing with trying to put her mother's affairs in order and plan a memorial -her brother started threatening everyone and the memorial service.

Here in Sandra's own words are her account of what she has had to deal with this holiday season. We HAVE to do something about the mentally ill to not only protect all of the innocent people around them, but to protect them from themselves.

I'm hoping that by sharing Sandra's story with everyone we know somehow we can start the new year with some positive changes.

We have met the enemy -- and he is us. Philosopher Pogo.

In some ways December 21, 2012, was the end of the world as we want it to be. We are a broken society and a broken community. We should be utterly ashamed of ourselves and the way in which we claim to take care of one another. Please pass my story on to as many people as you can, because knowledge is power and an agent for change.

The accidental death of my 71 year-old mother on December 10th has been a shock to her family and friends. But dealing with my mentally ill brother in the wake of her death -- and for that matter every day for the last three years-- has been excruciating and almost impossible. As sad as I am about my mother, I am relieved that she is no longer having to deal with this insidious disease, the havoc it is causing my family and the inevitable pain to my brother. The screwed up "system" is throwing obstacles to care in our way at every turn... and who created that system? We did. We are a society of extremists. From institutionalization and lobotomies to ignoring the problem, even as it sucker punches us in the face, it is more comfortable (and much more expensive, I might add) to blindly cling to the extreme edges. Look at the result of the system that is erring, not on the side of caution, but stupidity. The Colorado movie theater shooter was mentally ill – the family unable to get care after repeated attempts. The Connecticut shooting; the shooter was mentally ill. The same is true for the Clackamas Towne Center shooting. And if I had not had a plan A, B, and C in place for my mother’s Celebration of Life on December 17, the 325 people in attendance could have been just another news headline. I am appalled at our collective grief over these recent shootings when in fact we did nothing to prevent them. I have had no time to mourn my mother because everyday I am fighting a system; trying to protect family and friends from my brother so that they can safely grieve Dolores.

I do believe, statistically, the mentally ill have a greater chance of being a victim than the perpetrator of a crime, so why, then, is this happening? Because it is a progressive disease we let fester too long. I believe that if we had we had a system in place to help these individuals when signs first began instead of having to wait until imminent danger, a lot more people would be alive today. It is easier to say that a person has a right to be mentally ill and it is not our problem. Civil Rights, however, assumes full mental faculties but the cost of that assumption is far more than any society, than any community, than any parent should have to pay. If a person broke his leg and was withering in the streets, he would be taken to the hospital, even against his will. And yet, a broken leg is not life threatening. Why does one have to be a danger to himself or others when it comes to the mentally ill? Perhaps it is so that we can look the other way when this ugly disease emerges.

My mother died from massive brain injuries from falling off a ladder while retrieving Christmas decoration on December 6, 2012. I consulted with psychologists about informing my paranoid schizophrenic brother in the safest and most compassionate manner. He refused to believe that his mother was on life support in the trauma ICU. He thought it was a plot to entrap him since both of my parents had restraining orders against him since March of 2012 for Elder Abuse. There was a proviso in the order that would allow for a supervised visit if both parties agreed. After much consultation with the hospital we came up with a plan where he would be escorted by two male cousins to the hospital. He refused those conditions and provided his own. According to Duanne, judge who signed the order should rip it up and personally escort him to the hospital. He could not be accommodated and our mother died on December 10, 2012 at 9:23pm.

Again, he was notified of the death through family members but would not believe it until he saw the published obituary. When it was published and he saw that the Celebration of Life was to be held on December 17, my birthday, he thought it was a ruse for me to hold a party. Then the threatening emails began from him to me began. Emails that said: “I have played the matrix game of b.s. with my blood sister Sandra Luckow who is the character daughter of Satan and all his demons, fallen angels=aliens. Soon I will say ‘Checkmate,’ bitch.”
“You sure want to go out with a bang… huh?”
“I told you the freight train would smack you and your mind will implode like the twin towers…” “I gave Rita the green light to mow everyone down who got in my way after we researched what lies you told everybody…”

Armed with these statement in writing, I called Project Respond, thinking that since the two shootings I could get him put on a psychiatric hold for 72 hours and protect the 325 people who were expected to attend the Celebration of Life. Although they saw caused to investigate, they called me back after a brief visit with him and said that he did not meet the criteria for involuntary hold and when they questioned him, he said that he had no intention of harming anyone. Besides, he did not have a history of violent behavior – only a tasering in April, a pending eviction from the halfway house he is staying at for harrassment, and an arrest on November 4th for passing a bad check.

I was incensed – this was our chance to be to do the right thing. We did need another Town Center or Sandy Hook when we had every chance to prevent it? The Crisis center just kept repeating, “He does not meet the criteria. Is there anything else we can do for you?” I told them I hoped they would be unable to sleep at night, particularly if anything happened. I considered canceling the memorial, because it was a chance I simply could not take. I had had a belly full of death and “unfortunate” circumstances in the previous week. Then with the help of Tina at the Milwaukie Center, two armed guards were hired for the evening, the event patrolled by the Milwaukie police, and there was at least one person at the ceremony with a license to carry a concealed weapon. Fortunately, it went off without any problems. In retrospect of the Celebration, I have in my head gone over the my conversations with Project Respond and I hear the frustration of their jobs and the limitations placed upon them even through they acted in the most professional and valiant manner. I was chastising the wrong people, which is why I am writing now. We are to blame for the policies we have championed in a short-sighted manner to make our lives seemingly more “pleasant.”

However, the next day, my father AND deceased mother received notice from Clackamas County Courthouse that Duanne was contesting the restraining orders and my parents were expected to show up in 2 days for a hearing. This seemed outrageous. I had been trying to get a court date for 8 months to remove the squatter from his property as the Limited Conservator (which is admittedly complicated because of my brother’s support of the squatter Rita Cagliostro and her eight year-old daughter), and yet he can get one in just two days. It was my understanding that once he was served, which had been in April 2012, he would have 30 days to contest the order. He did not do so. I called the courthouse and tried to explain that there was no way he should be given hearing. The clerk sounded like a monotone recording – either have Maria Dolores and Gerald Luckow to show up in court or the restraining orders could be forfeited.

(As an important aside, and a cautionary tale – My brother elicited the help of a woman who is also mentally ill and thinks herself an expert in the law to file the papers and “represent” him. She is crafty, but very confused and utterly belligerent. In the State of Oregon, if a person, even if invited, stays longer in your home than seven days, they have a claim of residency. The only way to get them to leave is through an eviction process. However in most of these cases, an eviction process cannot be enacted because the “squatter” does not have a contract of which she breached. It is costing me about $10,000 in court fees to get this person removed. She is growing cannabis on the property, but has a license to grow and, again, in the State of Oregon, unlike other states, there are no restrictions in having one’s child exposed to it. These two have filed complaints at every agency that allows them to do so.)

I prepared my father who is suffering from dementia, the loss of his wife of fifty years, and the confusion of losing his son to schizophrenia for the hearing at 10:30 am on December 20, 2012. We arrived at the courthouse with everyone else who had been granted a hearing and there sat my brother and Rita. He had gained quite a bit of weight since I last saw him in March and was somewhat disheveled. He had his briefcase full of the mountain documents that have been produced by courts and lawyers since this ordeal began. He did not acknowledge us verbally, but gave us both a stare that can only be interpreted as hate.

In the courtroom with about 30 other people, the judge roll-called the cases and the parties present. Even though I had told the court of my mother’s passing, they still called out there name and I had to say that she was unable to attend due to her death 10 days previous. It gave me pleasure to see the faces of the judge and clerk go white. There were six cases to be heard, which added to my stress because I needed to take my father to the doctor that was going to give us the results of his extensive memory test to assist me in placing him in appropriate care. We had tried for months to get this appointment. I had no intention allowing the chaos caused by my brother to be the reason for him missing it. Mercifully, the judge thought the Luckow case should be heard by another judge in private and immediately. We changed courtrooms, further confusing and distressing my father.

After the new judge entered the new courtroom, she asked me if I was Maria Dolores. “No, I said, that was my mother who passed away 10 days ago.”
“Oh, I am sorry, she replied, “Then there is no need for this order.”
She asked my father to take a seat in front of the gallery, I asked the judge if I could join him due to his… “No you may not.” She snapped. My father looked lost. She then asked my brother why we were in the courtroom. He said he wanted the restraining order dismissed because I was under investigation by social security. She asked him who was investigation me. Duanne mentioned everyone from the CIA to the FBI, when the judge asked for specific names of investigators, he said, “Rita and I are doing on our own because no one else is doing anything.” She then began to read the charges on the restraining order of mental and verbal abuse of my father. Duanne responded with, “There is no proof. All that is a lie.” The judge continued by asking if he had yelled or swore at my father in the last 180 days.

I was thunderstruck. She was assuming that the restraining order had just been issued and Duanne was within his 30-days from being served to contest. I raised my hand like a schoolgirl and said, “Excuse me, your honor, I think I can clear up something here.” “No you will not; you will keep quiet until it is your turn to speak,” she fired back in her best Judge Judy imitation, “There is a process here, and we are going to follow it.” As I sat back, I saw Duanne and Rita guffaw at her reprimand. I thought, “fine, waste your time, waste my time, confuse my father further, and I am sure the taxpayers will be thrilled.” She bumbled through a series of questions to Duanne trying to make sense of this complicated situation of restraining orders, limited conservatorship of me over Duanne’s property, my mother’s now defunct conservatorship over my father, social security payees, etc. The judge asked him for any documentation he had about my authority to be his limited conservator. He handed the Judge an Order giving me permission to sell his property and ban him from being on said property (where Rita is now squatting). The judge glanced at it and asked my brother, “I see here that the judge’s name is circled in orange ink and there is a notation that reads, “You’re done, bitch! Any idea how who put that there?” A little game of cat and mouse ensued and then my brother said that he could not reveal who had written it even though he knew.

The judge had me take the stand and swore me in. She actually began to look at the restraining order for the first time and realized it was ordered in March of 2012. She said, “I think that I have just answered my own questions.” She dismissed me without having to say a word and then told Duanne that the order was issued in March and served to him in April. He had been entitled to contest the order within 30 days of being served and had not done so. Therefore, it was a mistake on the part of Clackamas County Courthouse to have given him this hearing in the first place. She was sorry for the mistake of the court. She asked Duanne if he had anything to say. He complained about the system and then told the judge, “This system is completely screwed up. And YOU are being watched.”
“Who is watching me? She asked.
“There are two invisible people watching you.”
(At this point, in a low voice, the clerk calls for an armed deputy to enter the courtroom.)
“Who are these invisible people?”
“Who is your creator?”
The deputy enters and takes a seat. The judge points out for the record that she called in a deputy, not to offend anyone, and not because anyone had done anything wrong or even inappropriate, but rather to prevent anything from happening. “We want to keep everyone safe,” she said. Now the court is concerned about safety! In the wake of Clackamas Town Center; in the wake of Sandy Hook; in the wake of what I had to do to hold my mother’s Celebration of Life, TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

We were told that Duanne and Rita would be detained while we left the courthouse. I took my father to his doctor’s appointment. Friends with whom I have shared this story suggest I go after the court by reporting this to the District Attorney’s office. I won’t. I need every ounce of energy for jumping through the myriad of hoops of this decrepit system to take care of what is left of my family. We, meaning you and me, our neighbors, our cities, our politicians are allowing mental illness to crush us by tying the hands of first-responders and doctors with procedure and policy because we are scared of reverting to the times of straight jackets and lobotomies. Do we think so little of ourselves? We are the wealthiest nation in the world and yet completely morally bankrupt and cowardly when it comes to dealing with the mentally ill. I wish I could wish you a happy holidays this season. I cannot.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I've been taking advantage of this glorious Dallas weather today (it was 75 degrees!) to do some things I haven't had the chance to do, including some much needed gardening and going through a lot of the images I took this year of events, projects, family, and friends. I'm grateful every day for the life I have, but sometimes seeing it all in front of you really brings it home.

I am so thankful for the wonderful supportive family I have. This year was my Aunt Julie's 80th birthday and I was able to go to Cambridge Ohio and celebrate it with my aunt and family members I hadn't seen for years but we picked up like it was yesterday. I'm very proud to come from such a loving, creative family that has amazing work and giving ethics and if I do say so myself, we are raising some amazing kids and grandkids :) I also couldn't be more thankful and grateful that I get to spend time with my kids and grandkids and be a part of their lives. Teaching my grandkids to cook and respect everyone including animals is one of the biggest joys of my life.

I'm also so appreciative for my clients and people who have supported the Lifestylist® Brands. Clients like David Riedman and @home Builders who have have been loyal to us for over 20 years mean more than I can even put into words. Seeing them succeed and become the successful brand that they have become while giving back silently to their community - never asking for anything back, but doing it because it is the right thing to do is a joy. It's great knowing that good guys can win.

I am also so, so thankful that my parents taught all three of their girls that giving back is something you just do because it's the right thing to do. Being directly involved with groups like Shared Housing and Animal Rescue Corps give my life meaning. I'll never be able to do enough because there is so much that needs to be done, but I'm not going to stop trying. And I'm thankful that my amazing clients realize how important giving back is and support my efforts by giving me the freedom to make a difference.

Looking back -this has been a really special year. More than ever, I'm looking forward to 2013. New friends, new clients, and even a new family member- the newest baby boy Felber will be making an entrance in April!

May you all have a holiday season filled with wonder, love, acceptance, and most of all thanks.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! The weather has finally gotten chilly, holiday decorations are everywhere, and I'm finally getting in the mood to get this party started! The Lifestylist® Brands are all about Life Celebrating Style, and this time of year is our favorite time to celebrate.

We love finding new and interesting products and ideas that can help you celebrate in style, and we share these on the Lifestylist List. If you are looking for unique, interesting ideas that can help you find the perfect gifts for your friends family, and clients, we hope you will take a look.

This is a great time to live in Dallas, especially if you love the arts as much as I do. And as Mayor Mike Rawlings stated, "It's a great time to be a citizen and Mayor of Dallas." The cost of living is 8% less in Dallas than in the rest of the United States, and as a result our businesses and economy are starting to blossom again.

Being a Lifestylist® is all about appreciating the arts, and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to attend the 1012 Obelisk Awards that are sponsored by the Business Council for the Arts. Learning some of the facts and figures that were shared at the luncheon made me realize how important having a thriving arts community can be to the health and well being of a city. Art makes over a billion dollar impact in Dallas, and seeing businesses and corporations like Capitol One Bank, North Park Center, Half Price Books and others being so heavily involved in groups like the Business Council for The Arts means that we all have a beautiful future in front of us.

Nancy Nasher - a Board of Directors Member of the BCA is a huge believer that art should be accessible to all, and she and the Nasher family don't just talk about change - they make it happen. Having the priceless works of art on display at North Park Center where anyone can see and appreciate them, and having countless events that are free to everyone at The Nasher Sculpture Center is an amazing gift to Dallas and its citizens. Hearing her talk about how the arts help develop thinking tools made sense, and was a great call to action as to why we need to continue to expose our kids to the arts and encourage them to be creative.

One of the winners challenged us to explore what arts organization are we about, and to encourage other businesses to seek out a great organization to get involved with as well. By being involved and sponsoring events like the USA Film Festival or KidFilm your team members can explore their creative sides and hopefully bring that creativity into the workplace as well.

One of the best things about locating the Home Idea Factory in Oak Cliff is that we are so close to some of the best cultural events that Texas has to offer.

The Bishop Arts District has really come alive with wonderful events that bring all of us together, West Dallas is blossoming into an incubator for artists and culinary enthusiasts, and we are within bike riding distance of the Dallas Arts District.

My favorite part of The Arts District is The Nasher Sculpture Center. I remember going there for the first time shortly after it opened and being in awe of the priceless works of art I'd only read about. Thanks to The Nasher Family, Dallas had this beautiful space where everyone could come to learn about and appreciate art.

I was heading that way last weekend to take advantage of one of the incredible free events that they were hosting in the gardens. All Summer they have their 'Til Midnight at The Nasher where you can bring a blanket and enjoy live bands, films and Wolfgang Puck picnics under the stars. It's truly magical, and I plan my calendar around being in town for these any time that I can. As I was coming over the beautiful new Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge I was blinded - literally - by the sun bolts that were being reflected off of the new Museum Tower. Keep in mind I was a few miles away, but the reflection was blinding, and I was going down a very busy roadway. It's hard to believe that there hasn't been some serious accidents because of the glare already.

Here's the rub: The Museum Tower gamma rays are not only a hazard to motorists, it's destroying the gardens and works of art at The Nasher Sculpture Center. When I was there for some of the 'Til Midnight events you could see and feel the damage - the reflection was actually raising the temperature in the sculpture gardens! A building that is promoting being a part of the arts district is it's biggest foe. And they are being bullies and telling The Nasher that THEY need to make changes to their building!

The Museum Tower is owned by The Dallas Police and Fire Pension. With prices for the luxury condos starting at $1,200,000 I don't think any fireman or police officers will be moving in any time soon. Plus if I was an arts patron, I sure wouldn't be moving in either - I'd be embarrassed to have to tell someone I lived there when the building is contributing to hurting the arts community I'd be moving to.

It's time for The Museum Tower to step up and to become a good neighbor. With the new Klyde Warren Park opening up across the street, I have no doubt that they will be having a lot of the same issues that The Nasher Sculpture Center is having. I respect companies that are big enough to admit they made a mistake and fix it instead of bullying everyone around them. The Museum Towers was a wonderful concept - I hope they can "see the light" and make it the patron of the arts that it was meant to be.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone said this to me. When I got my divorce and wanted to own my own home, when I wanted to start a business that was different than what everyone else was doing, when I started building my own brand... people seem to find it easier to tell you that you can't do something than to encourage you to try something new.

Yesterday after arguing with the shippers of my beautiful new Thermador refrigeration and freezer columns about how they were going to deliver these beautiful beasts they finally delivered these almost 1,000 lb. beauties to The Home Idea Factory. People don't always think of Thermador when they are looking for refrigeration solutions, but they should. One of the main reasons that I am going with Thermador in my new test kitchen is that they listen, and they are helping me find solutions to what I need, not just what they are trying to promote. By purchasing the refrigeration and freezer columns I'm able to customize them to my needs. They will be built-in keeping my kitchen open and the stainless doors which were also an option that I chose will help keep the industrial look of my 1942 space.

After discussing my dream kitchen with Thermador I never heard a negative comment from any of them, instead they were even more excited than I was! With their help and sharing of knowledge about what will work best for me my dream is starting to be a reality.

I'm so excited about starting this journey and I'm really looking forward to sharing what I learn with you.